


Someday is an ugly word

by Boshy



Series: Boshy- Sakuatsu angst week 2021 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Broken Love, Comfort Food, Family, Lies, M/M, Not Beta Read, Phone Calls, Twins, they live together but it's not fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29962416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boshy/pseuds/Boshy
Summary: Sometimes you need other people looking out for you more than you think. Heh, maybe having a twin to confide in isn't the worst.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: Boshy- Sakuatsu angst week 2021 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2203725
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30
Collections: SakuAtsuAngstWeek





	Someday is an ugly word

**Author's Note:**

> Hi omg it's finally here!!!! so the prompt for day one is "break-up" 
> 
> Enjoy!

None of them knows when it started. Maybe it was always there, building as time went on. Maybe it was just being around each other constantly. Maybe it was just them.

It was probably just them.

It used to be so perfect- that was probably a sign in itself, but none of them saw it coming. Guess they never do. The fights ranged from both minor  _ and _ major things; wanting to spend time by themselves, budgets,  _ attention _ . That was probably one of the worse ones, they spent so much time together, but why did it never feel like enough? Like they were still strangers. Why did they end up like this?

It was probably for the better.

See, they never  _ wanted _ for things to turn out this way. So how the hell  _ did  _ it happen? But that’s an answer they’ll never get.

When Atsumu needed to let off steam he’d go to ‘Samu- because who else? Whether it be by text, call or just meeting up when he was in town (or vice-versa), need to vent? Go to ‘Samu. Bless him, he’s an excellent listener and  _ bonus _ , he ALWAYS brings (or delivers) food. Though Osamu always seemed mildly annoyed at Kiyoomi every time. 

Volleyball was meant to keep them sane. The one thing to play an anchor, so why did that change too? Everything was changing and there wasn’t a single person who liked it.

If Atsumu stayed for extra practice, he would come home to Kiyoomi sitting silently on the sofa, staring at the blank television. None of them said anything as Atsumu reheated the (now cold) food Kiyoomi had prepared and none of them said anything as they picked on the meal, not actually eating any of it.

Then Kiyoomi spoke up, “You stayed late again,”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that, I was practising a new spin on my serve,” Atsumu answered, bored.

“You were  _ two hours _ late,” He growled.

“I know and I said  _ I’m sorry,”  _ Atsumu replied in a dangerously low voice, “Look, I’m  _ not  _ having this argument  _ again _ ,” He grabbed his plate, setting it into the sink, then retreated to their shared bedroom, slamming the door shut and making Kiyoomi flinch. 

Atsumu had called up Osamu and  _ cried _ \-  _ hard. _

“I just don’t get it ‘Samu,” He wailed, “Why does this always happen? It’s like, we just fight all the time.  _ Obviously _ , we’ll just make up before bed  _ because that’s what we do  _ but, why is it that we  _ have  _ to fight every. Damn. Day.

…It hurts. It hurts so bad ‘Samu.” Atsumu whispered.

Osamu stayed quiet for a while, listening to his brother sob, ‘Tsumu, answer this question first; d’ya love ‘im?”

Atsumu answered without hesitation, “Yes, God how could I not ‘Samu, he’s  _ Omi _ !”

“Right,” Osamu gritted his teeth, “But, Atsumu I’m worried.”

“ _ About what?”  _ He snarled,

“For you. You and Kiyoomi I mean.  _ Obviously _ couples ‘ave quarrels and what not but, it’s just, don’t ya think you guys have too many?”

“. . .”

“Look I know in the end ‘ts yer decision, but just be careful okay?”

“ … ‘Samu, do you think Omi and I are bad together?” Atsumu whispered.

“Atsumu, I can’t answer that. It’s not my decision to make but, I will say, sometimes you become so used to being together that you forget that ya need time to grow on yer own, so if you need to, don’t be afraid to take a break. Ya can’t run without a pause. Sometimes you have to be selfish and do what’s best for you, even if that means putting your relationship on pause or, if it comes to it, breaking up. Ya have to remember,  _ you and Kiyoomi are not one person, there’s two of ya,  _ so you have to  _ talk _ .” Osamu answered honestly.

“But what if I don’t want to? What if I’m fine?” Atsumu stayed adamant.

“ _ But you’re not,”  _ Osamu said, irritated, “Yer not fine, stop lying ‘Tsumu. Yer lying to me, ta’ him, ta’  _ yerself _ , why… why would you lie to yourself?  _ I know _ how good you are,  _ you _ know too. You know the amount of effort you put into things ya care about, and you clearly care about Kiyoomi! But then why do ya act as if it’s fake? As if you’re not worthy? Tell me Atsumu,” When he said that, Osamu felt tears stinging in his eyes. He  _ loathed _ this feeling, where Atsumu would do this to himself. It felt as though when Atsumu didn’t trust himself, he didn’t trust Osamu, and Osamu would do anything to stop it.

“ ‘Samu I don’t know what to do, I hate it. I hate this.” Atsumu let out a hollow laugh, “This sucks,”

Osamu rolled his eyes, choosing to only focus on the first part, “I told you,  _ focus on yourself.  _ Everything else comes after. If you don’t focus on yourself how do you expect to do well in anything? If you don’t focus on yourself, how can you  _ force _ yerself to  _ pretend _ and  _ lie _ and I don’t know, everything in between. ‘Cause, it breaks me to see you like this. If you need to,  _ come home _ . Or at least to me, just do whatever’s right for  _ you _ .”

“Thanks ‘Samu,”

“Take care of yerself,” Osamu had (quite reluctantly) hung up, leaving Atsumu to wallow in his thoughts alone.

Outside their bedroom, Kiyoomi leaned against the door, squatting as silent deadly tears dripped down his face. He had heard everything. He always did. So he sat there, hand pressed over his mouth to stop any noise as he too, lamented the wreckage of their relationship; two broken individuals who were once convinced that love would conquer all. Maybe it was never meant to be for them. It didn’t matter that they loved each other- that was probably more reason for them to let go.

Even so, each time the two fought they still followed all the rules, they still followed the saying, “Never go to bed angry” they did  _ everything _ . Through all the tears, they made up, sleeping nuzzled against each other- definitely crying and muttering apologies (useless as they were) to the other. 

But Atsumu couldn’t keep his brother’s words out of his head, they taunted him, always lingering around. And then one day they just… fell out.

Kiyoomi was shouting at him again and he was extremely close to tears. 

_ I told you, focus on yourself. Everything else comes after. _

_ Yer lying to me, ta’ him, ta’ yerself, why… why would you lie to yourself? _

_ You and Kiyoomi are not one person, there’s two of ya, so you have to talk _

_ How can you force yerself to pretend and lie? _

_ It breaks me to see you like this. _

_ Just do whatever’s right for you. _

**_Come home._ **

Before Atsumu could stop himself, he blurted out, “Let’s take a break,”

Kiyoomi had stopped mid-sentence and froze. They stood motionless, staring at each other, wide-eyed and silent. A few moments later, Kiyoomi dropped into a chair and started laughing as a tear slipped down his face. Atsumu winced but didn’t say anything.

“Yeah… okay, let’s do it. Let’s take a break.” He snarled then left the apartment, snatching his keys and flinging the door shut loudly. 

Atsumu didn’t move from his seat, didn’t even blink, but the tears flowed without stopping. He doesn’t know how long he sat there for, but when he did eventually grab a suitcase and stuff all his belongings into it to leave, it was late and Kiyoomi still hadn’t returned. Atsumu paused at the door, looking around the apartment again but from the moment he stepped out, he never looked back.

He drove all the way to Tokyo to meet his brother, Osamu deserved the first explanation. Sure Atsumu ended up crying with a tuna and spring onion rice ball in his mouth and ‘Samu rubbing his back comfortingly but this was for the best right? They had to be apart in order to grow, and maybe someday, someday they could try again.

**Author's Note:**

> Everything Osamu said is really important, I hope you all take care of yourselves and remember that it's okay to step back and take a break sometimes
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/boshy26)


End file.
